Occasionally Disoriented

It’s 5am here in the Philippines and I’m going to sleep now. The sun’s still down and its still dark outside… not the usual 5am.

I saw my ex’s page, through my cousin’s account. FYI, I only had one ex.Anyhow, the pain’s gone. Well I’m not saying this, it really is. HAHA!

To Ex:

Before, I would get hurt when I see you flirting and all but now? There’s nothing… I don’t feel happy of course but I don’t feel vengeful nor sad about it to.

Haha! I miss the good times and you but that doesn’t mean anything, ok?

There’s a lot of things I miss about “US” not about you,

Me: *looks at your eyes while my head rests on your lap*

Ex: *looks back then cover my eyes* Don’t look at me like that!

Me: Why?

Ex: Ang “talas” mong tumingin. (I forgot the exact words and I can’t translate it sorry. Talas, don’t know if that’s the word but something similar to that)

Me: Huh?

Ex: *kiss*

There’s a lot to tell and I want to share it. But now I’m sleepy and I don’t want to infest the dashboard with cheesy-ness :)

Or am I remembering you because of November, A Day for the dead/souls?

Dead Feelings. Dead Dreams. Shattered Heart.

I really appreciate it. Praying for my lola and telling me to be strong. So, Thank you. For doing me a favor, please spare me 15 seconds and talk to God to perform a miracle on my lola.

We love her so much, I love her that much… If she’ll be gone, it’s like I lost quarter of myself.

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To those who unfollowed me, sorry for spamming and Asking for prayers.

You’re like our second mom. You take care of us everyday, take care of our clothes, food, and needs. You’re not just my Lola, your my other Mom and my friend, when times get difficult with Mama and Papa you’re always there to make me smile or at least make me understand what’s going on. You’re always on our side, thank you. Thank you for waking up for us. Thank you for being there…

This family still needs you and you know that. I guess you already know your condition and you’re the one being strong. You told me, “Kaya ko to”, you said it to me when everyone’s outside talking to the surgeon. Right after that I went to the bathroom and cried. I know you heard me, sorry. We should be strong, for you.

Mommy, please stay for a little while. We’re still planning on your 70th birthday right? It’ll be your debut remember? We’re going to have lots of guests and and you’ll be going to Canada soon, to meet Kuya Jun. He misses you so much, Mommy. We’ll still go to Hong Kong together right? We still have a lot of places to go. I know I’m asking too much from you but please stay for a while. Our family will be in pieces when you’re gone.

We’ll miss our Mommy! Yung maldita naming Mommy, you told all of your apos that the only thing we all have in common is your “Maldita-ness”. We’ll miss you punch lines that’ll make us laugh for the whole day. We’ll miss you dressing up and how we compliment you everyday like “Wow! Ang bagets ng lola ko!”. We’ll miss your cooking… Well a lot of people misses that already…

Mommy, I love you :*

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Please pray for my Lola. I believe in miracles. I believe in GOD.

I’m asking for your prayers….

Today started off as an ordinary day; had Siopao for breakfast at the hospital, watched the telly, go to the nurses stations just like a routine this past few days.

Then… the doctor came, we had to talk to him first before he talks to my lola. He told us that my Lola has a tumor on her gallbladder . It’s pretty bad that it infected the other organs but they’re not sure if it’s malignant or benign… the symptoms are for malignant cancer but we’re still hoping for the best. Her case was referred to another doctor and to a surgeon.

The surgeon came around four. We we’re shocked because we have an order to not let the doctors inside my lola’s room and if there’s something they need to say it should come through us first… Gladly we pulled it off and talked to him outside. The operation’s a “NO” go. Its too big that they feared that it’ll come back, there’s no sense of removing it… He told us the procedures and stuff, the other treatments that my lola can go through…

Sorry I can not continue writing…

I’m asking for your prayers…

I’m BEGGING you to pray for her. 

Please. Please. Please.

I just want to fix things between the both of you. Sorry :)

I love you >:)<

To the people who are praying for my lola :) >:D<

Still here in the hospital looking after my Mommy.

Stuffing my face with Japanese food, cakes and fruit. Sitting in the couch like a boss. Watching the telly and nobody cares what I watch! Haha! Looking after Mommy isn’t that bad after all.

Currently watching “Hey Arnold!”. Feeling nostalgia through my veins. Saw “As Told by Ginger” too.

Well I walked through memory lane again… Childhood memories. And while I’m revisiting memory lane, I remembered that I was an insomniac since a child. Sleeping is for chickens. Haha! No wonder I’m this small. Hahaha!

awarewolves:

You looked at me with so much love concentrated in the center of each eye.

I love you, too, was the only appropriate reply.