Occasionally Disoriented

I ended August with happiness but that Happiness did not last till the end of September. I’m still happy but not that happy anymore.

People come and go.

But I wish there was a better reason for you to go. A better reason than “I can’t stand it anymore” when there’s nothing wrong. I don’t really know what’s going on. You’re telling me you need some space but before everything was different… After our dates you’ll tell me that you miss me already even if it was just a couple of hours ago.

*sigh*

Things will be better.

Robbie and Henzel, thanks for talking to me last night. I really appreciate it :)

I believe in this. I got this from my Philosophy Teacher.

2 reasons why I believe

1. If love’s an emotion, it’ll fade. Just like a tingly feeling when you had your first kiss… It will fade.
2. It is will because, if you’re determine to be with that person you’ll do anything to find a reason to hold on.

Babe, broke up with me uhmm 2 hours ago. Through text :)

And no. It’s not my fault. HAHA! Just got tired of me, I guess?

At first my reason was to get through my boredom last Christmas break. It was fun, seeing rad stuff and unusual things.

Then I started “Daily Dose of Me”, then less reblogging and more personal posts :)

Now, my reason is to unleash my wrath and rant. HAHA! I need it out of my system or I’ll explode.

Grade School Art — I was referring to the “concave” it’s a lesson from Grade School Art. NOT SHUN’S PHOTO.

Just clearing things out :)

Is it a sign that it’s over? :(

1st month… Is there still “US”? Or is it just “ME” again? :) I know that I hated “Monthsary” and how cliche it is. But I was expecting. You were online yesterday yet you didn’t reply on my messages. Why? What a freaking way to celebrate this fucking day?! Let’s end this day with sadness and tears. And let’s end this freaking thing called “US”? I’ll wait for your answer and won’t hope for you to answer ‘coz that’ll hurt me much much more.

I don’t know where to go.

I’m hanging on this thread, waiting for you to pull me up.

But I don’t know if you’ll ever do that….

Should I keep on hanging or should I let go?

I know it’s hard to let go but hanging here and not knowing if you’re going back is much harder.

I mean no communication at all.

1. My mom -We were best friends when I was child. She told me all the stuff, what’s going on and uhmmm everything. At a young age, I’ve faced an old person’s problem. My mom’s quite impressed, she told me that I’m matured and stronger than other kids ‘coz I’ve faced a lot of things that they’ll experience after 15-20 years. HAHA! I’m a lot stronger than I look :P
2. Paolo Keith - Best friend when I was in Kinder. I remember him eating his boogies back then :P :)) He’s now a runner… not running for athletic purposes though.
3. Danica and Allyson - 4th grade.
4. Janin - 5th to 6th grade.
5. Lester and Neil Patrick - 6th grade at Laguna. Neil used to teach me how to do tricks, skateboard thingy. Lester, he accompanies me at lunch, helps me with my homeworks and he cheered me up when I joined the poster making competition back then. HAHA!
6. Elaine - 1st year, She’s now some sort of slut? HAHA! I don’t know where she is now.
7. Danice & Divine - 3rd year. We used to play “Hide & Seek” at the whole campus… Hiding from someone back then HAHA! They’re still my best friends until now.
8. Angelique, Aileen, Diane, Alyssa, Momo and Nikko - We call each other brothers and sisters. HAHA! Best friends till now :P
9. Betina, Inah, Tina and Anj - 1st year college :)
10. Frael - 2nd year.
11. Andre - 6th grade till 4th year. Don’t want to talk about him tho. :|
12. Leonard Vinci (Tumblr) - he’s nicest dude eveeer! HAHA! He’s going to give me cream puffs. Right, Leonard? :) HAHA! He knows a lot about me than the other people I’ve mentioned. HAHA!

I’ve finished my report, just in time. I was accomplishing it while my professor in Philosophy was lecturing, he’s against kids using gadgets while he’s in the room but I dunno why I slip passed through him. Well… Before he left, I talked to him and said sorry for doing my report, disrespectful… I KNOW. He said it was okay :) HAHA!

Teacher’s pet? Am I? :D

• That polo/hoodie from Oxygen
• Leather && Metal Cuffs
• New shoes. Preferably black and shiny! HAHA!
• Gloves/Hand warmers
• New Hair do

1. Dance for/with you. I really don’t know how to dance but still :P
2. Sing for you though my voice is horrible.
3. Let you meet my friends.
4. Cook Carbonara for you.
5. Love you forever :)

This is hard since I spilled almost all the fact in my first two 10 day challenges.

1. I care and don’t care about my look - there are days that I care so much on how I look, on how people see me and some days I just don’t care, going out wearing my PJ’s with my bedroom hair on!
2. I’m a crybaby and a war freak - I usually start fights, back talk, and all that crap. I think that’s just a shell, a shell to protect my crybaby-ness inside.
3. I don’t know how to dance but I like to dance when I’m alone while listening to the music, swaying my hands most of the time.
4. I’m critique but I don’t like to be criticized. I criticize other’s work but I don’t tell it so bluntly that I’ll hurt their feelings. I don’t like being criticized, BEFORE, now? I don’t care most of the time or I’ll try to accept it and improve.
5. I like sweet things but I find them corny. There are things that are sweet when a certain person do it but when the I think the person doing some sweet things is inappropriate to do that… err. I find them corny.
6. I believe in God but sometimes my faith is weak. I always ask for forgiveness when I realized that I’ve doubted.
7. I’m around 5’4 or something. I don’t know my actual height and I really really want to get taller.
8. I “Matakaw” (eat a lot) but I picky. I don’t eat things that are not pleasant to the eye, like balut and seafoods. I’m staying away from seafoods as much as possible. I’m the only one in my family who hates it, they think I’m weird.
9. I don’t follow my own self. I told myself to take things slow but I hurried everything. I want to take things slow to make less mistakes but I hurried everything because I thought this will be my only shot, I don’t want to let you go.
10. I think I’m friendly but I have a lot of haters.

I was talking to my ma’ma-bestfriend (not my mom, she’s my friend by I call her Ma’ma) about my new look. She asked me what made me decide to have a new look. I said, I think I’m boring. I need to get out of this box and I have this “look” since child hood. We conversed and she promised she’ll help me out.

Then I realized… I want a new look so I could BELONG. Everything in this “NEW LOOK” proposal is so common, almost everyone have this look. Maybe I just want to be common. Someone who won’t stand out from the crowd.

Some people will say that even with my current “look” I don’t stand out. I don’t stand out but you can pick me out of the picture ‘coz I’m the one who does not merge well.

I just want to be common. Maybe? Maybe not?

Tomorrow’s a big day. A VERY BIG DAY.

I hope you’ll remember :’)

Ay nako! Malamang nga! Gawain mo yun eh yung mga lumalabas sa bintana! :))

She just disappeared moments ago? No one knows. And there are four of us who’s still awake and near the door.

There are 5 doors that’ll lead you outside the house. But most probable she used the door beside me ‘coz it was left open, you can’t close/lock it from the outside. :|

I heard my grandmother talking to my uncle on the phone and hey hey hey! the topic was me. No discretion at all! GOSH! They’re talking about my plans on shifting on how fucked up I am and how much my mom hates me. I was eavesdropping haha! I was just across the room, can’t help but to hear it.

Just a few moments ago I received a message from my uncle via FB Chat. He’s telling all that crap to be motivated and all, be grateful you’re studying and blah blah blah. I just replied

I know you’re going to talk to me about this but I thought you’ll talk to me after a few days or so. I heard you talking to Mommy. Let’s pretend we that this “thing” did not happen. K? k.

I understand that they have a point they just ugh! They don’t see things the way I do. If they were the one on my place gosh! They’ll be a wreck.